The Shared Care podcast is part of the CAREdiZO campaign for gender equality in caregiving and in the workplace. In the second episode, our guest is Rumyana Dzhibova. Listen to it
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1siUNZcRfLKlEbIQQeWcfC?si=k2Q56JLtRQeQz5GV15jD1w&nd=1&dlsi=cf7c67913fa044d9
Welcome to the new episode of the podcast Shared Care with host Natasha Zarankova.
With us today is Rumyana Dzhibova - secretary of the Izgrev community center, village of Banichan. She is actively involved in preserving and transmitting the rich local cultural heritage to the younger generation, and has developed many initiatives to unite and revitalize the village.
Our conversation is part of the CAREdiZO project, through which we explore how we can create a more equitable sharing of care between men and women. Today we will focus our attention on small settlements to look for the challenges, but also the strength that exists in the community.
Rumi, let's talk about the roles that women take on today. And are there any differences between women who live in small towns and in big cities?
As trivial as it may sound, how can I say, women have always been, perhaps, the leader. They say about this, our predecessors, that the man is the head of the family, but she is the neck. And where the neck bends, the head also turns. So the role of women today is the leader, and I think it is the same today, in today's world. And as for the differences between small towns and the city, of course there is a difference, because a woman from a big city faces the challenges of this city, the distances to work, for example. While in a small town, the child's school is closer, the shops are closer. There is a difference, and everything has its advantages and its negative features.
Generally speaking, what are the commitments of women in a village?
A modern woman in a village, although she continues to bear her responsibilities as a woman, as a mother, as a housewife, at the same time - we are already in the 21st century - this woman works. She is employed. This woman tries, you know, ... yes, there are women who are ahead with technology, but even in small settlements this woman is already starting to keep up with these modern technologies, so that she can not only communicate with her family, her relatives and friends, who are now all over the world. And she also continues to take care of her livelihood. In the sense that she produces clean food for her family, because she has the opportunities, they have a garden and more time, perhaps, after work, while in cities women have no gardens to go out to sow tomatoes, peppers.
So these are some of the challenges that the modern woman in a small settlement fulfills.
Is there an understanding in the countryside that women should stay home and take care of the home and children, while men go to work? Or are traditional views on the roles of men and women already changing?
There is no way in this actively changing world that the old stereotypes can remain as they were - women should stay home, and men should be the ones outside. Or as they used to say, dad brings, mom makes - children eat. Things have changed in a different way. Every woman is looking for ..., she is a working woman, she is a highly qualified, intelligent woman who is engaged in science, in research. A woman who has already entered medicine, in male professions, which for so many years were considered male. There is no longer a male, female profession and male and female work. Well, we can't say how much of this is from the upbringing of the man and the woman since childhood and what examples they have seen from their parents. And they have transferred this to their family, but it cannot be completely transferred on 100%. Times have changed and things have indeed changed. Women work just as men work.
Very often there are examples when, although sometimes women's work is less appreciated - this is what the statistics indicate ... compared to men's work, but there are cases when women are more highly qualified and they bring more income to the family.
But this does not hinder equality in the distribution of their duties. And the man should respect her work and respect her presence, continue .... to divide their commitments, care for the children according to their understandings, the two of them.
Is there enough support for mothers in villages who want to work? For example, kindergartens and nurseries? Are they accessible? Is there any other type of assistance for raising children in villages?
Unfortunately, the demographic crisis also affects many small settlements. And many of them were left with closed kindergartens. And this forces working mothers to either stay and look after their children, or to take them to the nearest municipal center or settlement where there is a kindergarten.
Another, I would say, is that it is perhaps desirable to make the institutions themselves more flexible in some way. Because a working mother, in order to obtain a document for kindergarten, must either take unpaid leave, not to be absent from work, or sick leave, which parents do a variety of, ... how to call it ..., exercises in order to obtain this, and these documents can somehow be required ex officio. But there is much to be desired in this direction, so that these working parents, working mothers, can be assisted, so that raising children can become easier and more natural. It is also desirable for the state itself to allocate more money for raising children.
In the villages, the connection between generations is much more noticeably preserved. Young families live together with their grandparents, even with their great-grandparents. In this sense, how do the younger ones cope with caring for sick, infirm family members? Is there a distribution of duties and responsibilities for this care? Are men more involved, or do women bear the main part of this work?
Indeed, in the villages, I would say that this connection is still preserved. There are families that live 3-4 generations under one roof, which is good on the one hand. It is good when these elderly people need help and the younger ones help. If the elderly people (definitely) cannot travel to the municipal center, medicines, all other consumables related to their health, a doctor's examination, all this is with the help of the young person.
It's good that there are already programs that provide domestic helpers, assistants, because ... not everywhere they can live with the young and the old. They don't live, for example, if they are in another city or outside the country, where there are these cases, but then there are such assistants or helpers.
In addition to institutions, do people in the villages also rely on help from relatives, friends or neighbors to ease their burden in caring for the sick and elderly?
This help in the villages is the most tangible, the most visible, although there is this institutional help that we talked about. Not everyone, not all the sick and elderly, receives this help, and then they rely entirely on relatives.
A neighbor is bigger than a relative. Everything that happens, the neighbor will know first. Neighbors also help, neighbors also help each other. Whether it will be the woman or men depends on who is on a date.
How is it combined work and family care in a small settlement like Banichan? Are there things that make the balance more difficult than in the city?
This is a question that I would say that .... on the one hand, it is difficult to balance these obligations in the family and at the workplace, but on the other hand, a small village like Banichan, compared to the city, for example, .... but on the other hand, it has its advantages. Then it is easier, it depends on the position, from which angle we look at the issue.
So in the city, for example, it is easier that a person does not travel so much, does not spend time traveling to get to his work (as if travelling from village), to his workplace, and accordingly has more time for family obligations. But on the other hand, in the village of Banichan, people from the community all know each other. Even if you do not have relatives there, you have friends, you have acquaintances on whom you can rely and at a certain moment to relieve your obligations, for example, to have them complete. Whether it's in the morning when you leave for work earlier, or you have to travel to take a trip, they can take your child to kindergarten or school, or pick him up in the evening if your work requires more time to finish.
I understand, there is someone you can count on! By involving people outside the family, you will also cope with these duties more easily. This is really valuable - to be part of a single community, like people in small settlements!
Do you have any ideas about what you think would help women in villages to more easily combine work and care, responsibilities at home?
Ideas can always be born and sometimes they come, as they say, from the difficulties that lie ahead for the young person, for the young woman, for the working person. And many times from what they need, one can suggest what to do, what to improve, there is always such a desire.
As they say, mobile services, even for older people, more flexible working hours can be made for these people or for the institutions that offer such services. In this I want to say what our experience is, the role of the Izgrev community center in this regard. We have offered, so to speak, an academy - Stork Academies, where we have trained children. And even though for one or two hours we separate these children from their mother, from their family environment, not to mention from the phones, at the same time this woman can do her housework and this child can be busy, for example, with us. It's not just these Stork Academies, we've done them, we've offered workshops, where children learn not only the knowledge and skills they acquire, but they also learn about organization, discipline, sharing, etc. There's still much to be desired, institutions can help, and here too the role of the community center in small settlements.
With your initiatives, do you think that you are also helping to educate children and young people towards equality in responsibilities at home?
As I said, from these initiatives that we offer, the various workshops that we offer, the children with us .... there is a folklore group. This is their new family. They feel like a family, they share their holidays, they share ... many times. There is no division there, for example, into women's work or men's work. By getting involved in them, the children have fun, in addition to learning how to do something, they are also being educated in this direction, to be able to share with the person next to you every responsibility and mutual assistance between them, which they think is something that will help them in real life tomorrow. This is the goal of all the activities and topics that the community center is involved in - right, on the young. Building some sustainable models of work.
You have an interesting, how to say, mentoring experience with young couples that you have trained in sharing housework. Will you tell us what you do together?
This is such an interesting question that I could talk about for hours and I am satisfied and ..., how to say, excited by my meetings with these young people.
I am talking about young people between the ages of 20-30 ... couples, young couples who come and I teach them, for example, how to roll a Banichanska svetna banitsa (to cook traditional pastries), they learned about it somewhere on the Internet and ask to come, if I can teach them to make it. I am so happy for them, watching them from the sidelines, but they are young people from different parts of the country and not only, from different parts of the world, I would say, ... that come for such training, .. and these young people are highly qualified personnel. Among them are IT specialists, there are doctors, ... different in their own way.
I would say different in view of the fact that when the boy is more enthusiastic, when I would say he is more leading, the girl is somehow more backward. And in the other couple, I see the girl is the leader. She rushes in, he does everything. Whatever she say, they were so impresseive. The other half does everything that the leading half says. But the difference is again, I see, not a difference, but I would say exactly this balance that we talked about at the beginning of the conversation, that an empty space is not tolerated.
The balance between the plus and the minus, that they always attract each other and thus create a pair. And so maybe that's how the world is designed so that they can complement each other. One is always the leader. And not only in making banitsa. But we have done workshops in different places for embroidery. Oh my God, I am so impressed with how men embroider. This is for me, there are no greater specialists than male embroiderers. And even more so, if they are IT specialists. And they see in this, this embroidery, how to say... something of an anti-stress activity. Which they do with such diligence, with such attention, which I am very happy about. And I am hopeful that things will happen. Bulgaria has a future with these young people of ours. If something is lame somewhere, and we older people always say," these children just stand in front of computers, phones. God, how will they live? I don't know what." - Well, I remember the same way. My grandparents used to say, how will we live? How will we earn a living, being only in front of the TVs? So every time generations are created. And every time, these generations really have to be with the times, because that is what time is. We cannot stop the development of communities, of time, of generations. But despite everything, I am glad that they are finding their roots. They are looking for them, they are finding them and they are continuing. Because a tree without roots cannot grow. And despite everything, the Bulgarian root will not be lost.
It is very good that these institutions, such as Chitalishte Izgrev, are looking for new ways to bring people together, even in relation to care, in the home, in the family, by using, as you say, the root culture, the wealth that we have inherited from the past.
In this regard, what advice would you give to young families about care in the family and how to share them?
Well, the advice that I would give them from the distance of time, of my life, of the meetings that I have with different generations, is that all responsibilities should be distributed equally.
Caring for the person next to you, it should perhaps be a primary concern before caring for oneself. We should not create or raise selfish people, but we should raise people who live in love, in understanding, in their family, first of all children and parents, with their neighbor,... to have love between them is understanding, from there on between spouses. And this is understanding.
Understanding is the thing that always leads to success, to prosperity. And if a being, whether it will be the wife or the husband, after they have decided to live together, should really share both the joys and the worries together, it is easier to get through it, because they say shared joy is double the joy, and shared sorrow is half the sorrow. Let there be more shared joys!
Thank you very much Rumi for this conversation, for the wisdom and experience that you shared with us. I hope they reach many people and find in them a path to balance and equality.
Welcome back to the next episode of Shared Care
The podcast was created by the National Business Development Network under the CAREdiZO Project -C AREdiZO- CARE Driven Innovation for Gender mainstreaming in Home, Micro-Enterprises & Micro-CSOs, , funded by the EU under the "Citizens, Equality, Rights and Values" program.
Funded by the European Union. Views and opinions expressed are however those of the author(s) only and do not necessarily reflect those of the European or the Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA). Neither the European Union nor the awarding authority can be held responsible for them.